Is the system playing you, or are you playing it?

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Hey there!

Once upon a time, I wrote a book. To market the book, I shopped it around to different youth group leaders and community life pastors pitching it as a great resources to be used in group settings. It had built in reflection/discussion questions at the end of each chapter and everything!

I’d send along a free copy of the book for review, and offered a bulk book purchase discount if they were interested. I also pitched coming to speak at an event they were hosting. This tactic got me 2 bulk sales and two speaking gigs.

It also got me this response from a youth pastor:

”This book is a great resource. However, about 50% of our students are males. I’m concerned they won’t find the content relatable, since all the stories in the book are from females.”

If I could respond now:

HAHAHAHAHA!
What do you think I’ve been doing my whole life?!
LEARNING FROM THE STORIES OF MEN, AS A WOMAN!

At that time, I was still trying to work within the church system. And when you’re trying to work within a system, by default you are prioritizing the system over yourself.

I ended up leaving the church system. Firstly, on business grounds. I didn’t want to contort myself in order to be accepted by a system that would at best only allow me to reach 50% of the possible audience. Growth would mean becoming a “women’s ministry leader,” a “women’s speaker,” or a “woman’s author.”

Can’t I just be the noun, without the “women’s” adjective?! Why do men get to speak to and lead everyone, anyone, but women only get to do so for women?

Contrived hierarchies and power systems. That’s how.